How crazy is crazy... really?

As a runner, I often hear things like “OMG you’re crazy” or “its insane to run 13 miles”. To be frank, its not the 13 miles that's hard... its the .1 mile at the end, cause you should be done, but your not. Not even close. 

People aren’t wrong, it takes a special sort of person to wake up at 4:30 on a Monday morning (me… tomorrow) to run, shower and get ready for work. But it takes drive, determination and faith in yourself. 

Tomorrow is day 1 of my 12 week journey to the Fargo Go-Far Challenge. If anyone ever reads this and wants to run either the 5k on Friday for medal #1 and join all of us on Saturday May 9^th 2020 for the 5K, 10K, Half Marathon or full… you get not just the 1 medal from Friday… a second for completing ANY race on Saturday but you also get a sweet Challenger medal for the go far. I’m a bling whore and LOVE them medals on my wall.

To encourage people to join in my running game, I’m going to start off by going over what used to be crazy with a dusting of ghosts. Please enjoy my first foray into paranormal story telling.

The Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum-

                Built in 1850’s in West Virginia. Currently looks like a fancy boarding school or a weathered manor house. This building was the brain child of Thomas Story Kirkbirde- I’m going to call him Birdy for the rest of this story 😊 (looking back, I bet he wishes he could have let this idea fly the coop). Thomas was a doctor and avatar for the mentally ill and later became the founder of what would eventually become the American Psychiatric Association. Seems like a pretty stand up dude, if I may say so myself.

In the mid 1800’s it was easy to dump a loved one in an asylum. Some people even received payment for their drop off (Um DoorDash #Sponcerme) with no questions asked. Here are some of the reasons for dropping your family off at the looney bin in the 1800’s

Asthma,  Epilepsy, Rabies, TB (get your vaccines people., this isn’t the 1800’s anymore)  Vices (drinking, smoking, cussing… lets face it, my family would have locked my ass up in a heart beat for a dollar) Seduction, Bad whiskey (ok, I totally get this one) Indigestion… has no one had the runners trots? Loss of Arm, Menstrual derangement – seriously fucking patriarchal bullshit, Reading too many novels (ugh), Masturbation (we all fucked- see what I did there)

Once confined, patients were subject to torture… um I mean treatments in forms of:

Ice Baths (there is a reason I won’t do this. I’m not crazy)

Bloodletting (gross)

Insulin Coma Therapy- yeah, that’s the good shit there. Lets let them go in a coma and see what happens. Is this the 1800’s IT way of ‘did you turn it off and on again?

Electroshock Therapy

And last but not least… Icepick Lobotomy.

Just a recap, the icepick lobotomy is just as horrible as the name implies… this ‘treatment’ if you can call it that; involved shoving an icepick through a patients orbital socket IE THEIR FUCKING EYE and into the brain… Basically, some dick named Dr. Walter Freeman woke up one day and was like ‘I know how to fix crazy, I’mma stick this icepick through their fucking eye, and wiggle it around in their brain and see what happens’. What the fuck is wrong with these people??!?!?!?! This shit was so commonly practiced at this asylum that during a single 2 week period in the 1950’s ONE doctor performed some 228 icepick lobotomies. I hope this prick is walking around in hell with a sty on BOTH his eyes… and every step feels like he is walking on Lego’s.
 In 1881, the mental health diagnoses went through the roof- the asylum soon found itself understaffed for the extra 500+ patients. The hospital soon began to decline, patients were crammed together, in a room built for 1, there were soon 4-5 patients. By the 1930’s the asylum built for 300, was 6 times over capacity. The patients ran wild, the orderlies were outnumbered. At its peak in the 1950’s the hospital was holding 2,600 patients. 10 times more then it was built for… 10 fucking times.  This is worse then the starting line up at the Kansas City Marathon!

To expose the terrible conditions in the asylum, the Charleston gazette sent a crew to expose the inner workings.  Patients were sleeping on the floor, in freezing rooms, overworked staff, decreased sanitation. The bright windows were now covered with grime, wall paper peeling from decay. Due to the conditions and overworked orderlies had locked some patients in cages in open spaces. The asylum eventually closed in 1994. After more then 100 years, it closed forever. With over 666 acres(I found this listed on several different sites such as “portals to hell’ ‘Thought catalog’ as well as the tour guide section of their website) and 13 buildings. The largest area… the cemetery.

Now for the ghosts!!!!

                According to Portals to Hell ‘Enter the underworld’ on YouTube. There was a “bed post murder”.. I shit you not… this is fucking nuts. One violent patien (Dean)t was on the run and ended up in a room with 2 more even worse violent patients. They tied a bed sheet around his neck, tossed the sheet over a pipe, hoisted this gent in the air until he passed out. I can only imagne this happened several times. The 2 blokes then set one of the metal bed posts to his temple while one of them jumped on the bed. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? If that doesn’t make a ghost…

Some physics kept hearing a name of Jane, Rebecca, the current owner, found a book listing all the deaths. Yup, you guessed it… there was a patient named Jane who committed suicide.  

Workers claim to hear squeaky wheels rolling on the tiled hallway.

Staff has reported seeing ghosts walk through walls – OK so this drives me nuts, most ghosts follow the path they walked when they were still alive, so the only way they would walk through walls if there was some sort of change to the path. I didn’t do a TON of research but I didn’t see anything about renovations until recently.

One doctor reported that a ghost followed her home and haunts her to this day.

Reports of a ball of light moving down the hallways

On the 1^st floor there is a ghost named Ruth, who was said to hate men while she was alive and used to throw things at them – same girl, same- Now in ghost form, Ruth is still apparently throwing things at male visitors.

An EVP (electronic voice phenomenon, sounds found on electronic recording that can be interpreted as ghost voices) captured the sound of someone saying “get out” in Ward 2 of the second floor. Where 2 patients had committed suicide and another had been stabbed to death (did no one work here?)

The 3^rd floor is said to be haunted by 2 different ghosts, Big Jim and a nurse named Elizabeth.

Doors close by themselves

A phantom known as the ‘Creeper” is seen crawling around the floor (basically every time I’ve gotten drunk I’ve become the phantom creeper)

People often hear loud banging on the pipes

There is a ghost of a soldier named Jacob on the 4^th floor

Hysterical laughter has been reported coming from empty rooms

Objects often move by themselves

The ghost of a murderer named Slewfoot (omg I want a nickname that bad. Fucking Slewfoot… I’m going to have to save this for a true crime story, if I can get enough on bad crime names)

The most frequent and most famous is that of Lily. She reportedly wears a white dress and appears to be about 9. Stories claim that she was born to a patient at the asylum and that Lily died after spending her whole life confined within the asylum. People claim that Lily will talk, roll balls on the floor, switch on flashlights, play a music box and giggle and has been described as simultaneously sweet and horrifying.

This venue was featured on Ghost Adventures, where I’m sure Zak was attacked or possessed by something and he made poor Aaron hide in a body bag or something…. Seriously Aaron, you need better friends. Friends don’t leave friends in body shoots alone.

While this location is currently under some remolding, they are open for tours in April… I would like to suggest a group tour, but lets face it. I’mma run as fast as my legs carry me through this place.

If you would like to find more information, I really enjoyed the article by Thought Catalog. It was very well researched and covered both the history and the hauntings.

Until the next blog. Keep it creepy my beauties
Always
Crystal